Trying to make sense of the nonsensical

While I don't think much of either political party--where oh where is the third party?--the following is an assessment of the political parties views on biblical teaching.  Namaste.

1.        “Am I my brother’s keeper?”

a.       Dems:  Yes

b.      Reps:  No

Commentary:  While it’s only a rhetorical question, it sets the tone for the discussion, don’t you think?

2.        “Render onto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s:”

a.       Dems:  Yes

b.      Reps:  No

Commentary:  We’re talking about taxes here.  Jesus was clearly for taxation, even if it was only an apologia for the following:  “and to God the things that are God’s” which is demand for tithing, seen elsewhere in the Bible.  The rent must be paid, even on churches, to keep the idea alive.  Same goes for other lofty ideas, such as, um, government.

3.       “Whatever you do to the least of my brothers you do unto me.”

a.       Dems:  Yes

b.      Reps:  I don’t understand the question.

Commentary:  None.

4.       “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of God.”

a.       Dems:  Well, I’m still making payments on my BMW, does that count?

b.      Reps:  And I can’t wait to transfer the title of that property to them soon enough.

Commentary:  None.

5.       “The meek shall inherit the earth.”

a.       Dems:  They might, if we had more programs for them, because it all depends on leveling the playing field.

b.      Reps:  Not bloody likely.

Commentary:  None.

6.       John 8:7 “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.’”

a.       Dems:  It was probably her upbringing so she can’t be held accountable.

b.      Reps: My sins were all forgiven, but hers weren’t, so commence the tossing!