Here's looking at you...

When I say I don't have a television, it's not a SNOB thing...YAHOO is delivered to my virtual door for pete's sake!..but when we moved into our house ten years ago and went to Best Buy like good gerbils (humongous television, CHECK!) we got overwhelmed with the logistics of MOUNTING the damned thing--we have plaster walls, THAT will pose a problem, right?--and figuring out which CABLE GUY we wanted to wait for--true, we had the option of having one of our young thieving (i.e. everything should be FREE--art, writing, music, internet, beer) friends hook us up to the cable wire that hangs tantalizing from a box on the back porch tho we decided to wait until more urgent things--the roof--were taken care of and then we discovered HULU, or HULU was invented in the years that passed and so we didn't deal.  Now when we stay at a hotel, we trip over each other getting to the remote and spend at least two hours twirling the dial.  So for my fellow lazybones Luddites, here's the report:   the most entertaining thing on television is the Food Channel--which features mean chefs trying to deflate one another's fritata--an aside here: does anybody LIKE fritatas? It's baked EGGS, right?--and they're sabatoging each other for the prize of WHAT?...but it did it for me in the way that shoot-em-ups do it for young men--vicarious violence--I felt I was watching a bunch of gladiators slaying each other to divert me from....the reality that we're ALL in the arena pitted against each other on trumped up charges? Nonetheless, I sincerely believe it upped my cooking game in that it firmed my resolve to NEVER cook a fritata.